What’s on my mind? Hmmm…. Well, I was reading through a chunk of ABFAWGO (hey, at least it’s a pronounceable abbreviation. If you want to call the book BLESSING or WARRIOR, though, fine by me…), and came to this sentence:
“I took the bottle and poured a bit more whisky all round; this was clearly going to take some time.”
Beastly Microsoft Word naturally popped in with its Helpful Suggestions, to wit:
That as I’m making a comparison (it thinks), I should change “whisky” to “whiskier”.
Mm. Hmm…
And (obviously), I should change “round” to “rounds”, with the comment, “check whether the noun should be singular or plural.”
I mean, “whiskier” is at least mildly funny, though both its assumption that I’m making a comparison (on the basis of the word “more”, I suppose) and its (haha) ‘correction’ are silly.
But on what basis (I wonder) did it conclude that the word “round” is a noun? (I mean, it can be, as in rounds of ammunition or rounds of dough or rounds of boxing, etc.—but in the context of this sentence? (Hint: machines don’t usually grasp the notion of context, which tells you all you need to know about the folly of listening to one while you’re writing….)
Yes, I realize I can turn this little pest off, but I take a lot of pleasure in shouting, “You IDIOT!” at it, while ponking the key to blow its latest stupid suggestion into the ether. (Why, no, I don’t have an anger-management problem; I manage it Just Fine, thank you…)
The photo above, btw, is posted as a matter of general interest, though I suppose it could be used to symbolize my general opinion of Microsoft Word (yes, I’ve tried Scrivener; it doesn’ t think the way I do). Many of you may never have seen—or known what you were looking at—when stepping carefully over something like this, so I thought you might enjoy knowing what it is—to wit:
SNAKE POOP
I realize y’all think I must live in a snake pit, and I admit that it’s been an unusually active spring in terms of the local inhabitants of the Suborder Serpentes, but I very seldom encounter noticeable excreta, and this is a particularly fine specimen, as it clearly shows the odd nature of snake excrement: to wit, snakes don’t have anuses. Nor do they have bladders. They have one opening (called the cloaca), through which they do all their business, including sex and giving birth.
You see the white thing? This is actually part of the poop (and how you know for sure what you’re looking at); the urinary part of a snake’s excrement is excreted along with the ordinary fecal part (the brown stuff), and is called “urates” (which might be useful someday in a Scrabble game, you never know).
I was entertained to find this, not only because it’s a fine specimen, but because it solidifies Lucy’s and my opinion that the large gopher snake we encountered in the propane corral a few weeks ago, is a) still in residence and b) undoubtedly keeping cool in the dense shade under the propane tanks.)
Selected Facebook Comments:
Diana commented:
I was born with a very strong “teacher” gene. <g>. If I know something, I can’t help telling it to people.
Diane R. T. said:
Hmmm so wondering if in the book the speaker uses the word whiskier instead of whisky because maybe he/she is intoxicated a bit. And then just laughs at the use of.
Diana replied:
Oddly enough, I also wondered briefly whether there might be a use (Elsewhere…) for “whiskier,” that thought coupled with my indignation that Beastly Word would suggest an “improvement” that isn’t even a legitimate word.
Stacie B. said:
If you need an even better opportunity to call Ai corrections blasphemous names install Gramerly and have Microsoft open. They rarely agree on anything.
If I’m not fully awake I get thrust down the grammar rabbit hole!
Diana replied:
Wouldn’t touch Grammarly with a ten-foot pole. I don’t want interference while I’m working.
[Note from Diana’s Webmistress: For those who don’t dive into tech stuff, Grammarly is a “free” app, which is promoted on its website as “the trusted AI assistant for everyday communication.” (“AI” = “Artificial intelligence.”) ]
Pamela M. said:
As I told you years ago in Surrey, thank-you for giving me the zoology/botany science part of my life back. I love these observations you share.
Diana replied:
I’m thrilled that you found that part of yourself again!
Visit my official webpage for A BLESSING FOR A WARRIOR GOING OUT (Book Ten of my Outlander series of major novels) to access more excerpts from this book, and information about it.
Photos above are © Diana Gabaldon.
This blog entry was also posted on my official Facebook page on Wednesday, May 28, 2025 at 5:47 a.m. (Central Time).