• “The smartest historical sci-fi adventure-romance story ever written by a science Ph.D. with a background in scripting 'Scrooge McDuck' comics.”—Salon.com
  • A time-hopping, continent-spanning salmagundi of genres.”
    —ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
  • “These books have to be word-of-mouth books because they're too weird to describe to anybody.”
    —Jackie Cantor, Diana's first editor

Pam’s "Ode to a Penis"


As in—I did NOT write this—proud though I would have been to do so <g>

No, no—this is the stellar handiwork of Ms. Pamela Patchet, multi-winner of the Surrey International Writers Conference Silly Poetry Contest, Honorable Mention (more than once) in the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest, and holder of many other distinguished titles, I’m sure.

Many thanks to Pam for giving me permission to post her poem here!)

How does a writer describe the aroused male member in a romance novel without tarnishing the family jewels?

Despite thousands of words used to describe Wee Willy Winkie (Mark Morton lists 1,300 in his book The Lover’s Tongue: A Merry Romp Through The Language Of Love And Sex), none seem to adequately convey the language of love, with its most obvious method of delivery, without giggles. One might argue the biggest organ of love is the brain, but a man’s brain is not the organ which makes its presence most boldly known in the throes of passion.

But how does a writer of romance describe ‘It’ without ruining the moment?

There’s no denying ‘It’ is there – its presence is as keenly felt as the relentless prodding of a Labrador’s nose against an outstretched hand.

One might wish to use a soft touch and describe a poet’s Dart of Love. A knight shields his Lance of Love, his Excalibur seeks its sheath. A fighting man thrusts his Hooded Warrier, or if angered, his Bald Avenger. The CEO fires his Executive Staff Member, the chef heats up his Meat ‘n Potatoes, the outdoorsman handles his Rod and Tackle, and the butcher unwraps his 100% All Beef Thermometer.

No, I think for romance to work, allusion is everything. I humbly offer up the following poem:

Ode to a Penis
or Advice For Romance Writers

I think that I shall never see,
a penis lovely as a tree.
Though both can be described at length,
it’s best you don’t.
Please show some strength.
For ample members are best left
(even when one’s hands are deft)
untouched by writers’ florid prose,
whether roused,
or in repose.
So drop the little one-eyed snake,
of other things you should partake.
Admittedly, they do enthrall,
but after one, you’ve seen ‘em all.

Graphic Novel Update!

Just to let y’all know that I’ve posted a sample page of the graphic novel script–so you can see what one looks like–and a page of Hoang’s layout sketches. Layout sketches are rough drawings, made so that we can be sure Hoang and I have the same vision of what the page looks like; that he has the composition and perspective I was envisioning, and whether there are any small details that I forgot to include that should be present (or that he’s added, but that oughtn’t to be there for historical or plot reasons).

Yes, that _is_ Jamie in the third panel. And yes, he is young [g]–remember, he’s only 22 here.

As always, I’m fascinated to hear what y’all think!

Welcome Aboard! (VotA Archive)


Voyages of the Artemis (VotA Archive Blog)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Welcome Aboard!

Why “the Artemis”? Well, as many of you—well-read and well-educated persons that you all are—know, Artemis is the Greek form of Diana. And owing to some unknown burst of inspiration on the part of my mother (I was supposed to be named Theresa Ann, but she changed her mind at the last minute, and my sister ended up as Theresa), I actually was named for the goddess of the moon. And I did have a ship in my third book (VOYAGER) named the Artemis.

Besides, I had to call it something.

I’d been talking to my editor at Ballantine about posting an announcement regarding our new graphic novel project (see post below), and she remarked that she couldn’t wait to see what the response was to both the announcement and the artwork.

At this point, it dawned on me that I don’t actually have a facility on my website for people to leave comments. Hence this blog. [In 2008, my website did ot have a blog, but has since 2011.]

Graphic Novel

I told one of my friends that I had a contract to write a graphic novel—something I’d been wanting to do for some time (I actually used to write comics for Walt Disney—Uncle Scrooge, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, and The Beagle Boys, for the most part). Friend replied that she’d always thought my novels were pretty graphic already.

Anyway, here’s the original press release from Ballantine, describing the project.

I posted a preliminary bit of artwork from this project on my website (www.dianagabaldon.com)—the artist’s conception of Claire (based on my descriptions of her). I think this is pretty cool, myself, but would be fascinated to hear what y’all think about it!

And what about Jamie? I hear you saying. Well… stay tuned, later this week, for the Scottish Buttocks discussion, that’s all I can say.

Del Rey To Publish an original “Outlander” Graphic Novel by Diana Gabaldon

NEW YORK, NY – December 10, 2007 – Del Rey, an imprint of Ballantine Books at the Random House Publishing Group, announced today that it will publish an original story set in the world of Diana Gabaldon’s bestselling Outlander series, written by Gabaldon herself and illustrated in full color by award-winning artist Hoang Nguyen. The project was acquired by Betsy Mitchell, editor in chief of Del Rey, in negotiations with Gabaldon’s literary agent Russell Galen.

The new story, starring Gabaldon’s beloved characters Claire Randall and Jamie Fraser, opens with Murtagh, Jamie’s godfather, awaiting the return of his godson to Scotland, and the fulfillment of a vow made years before. The graphic novel will be approximately 192 pages and will publish sometime in 2009. Gabaldon’s upcoming new Outlander novel, An Echo in the Bone, is expected to publish that year as well.

The #1 New York Times bestselling series—Outlander, Dragonfly in Amber, Voyager, Drums of Autumn, The Fiery Cross , and A Breath of Snow and Ashes—tells the story of Jamie Fraser, a Scottish Highlander from the 18th century, and his time-traveling wife, Claire. The series has 15 million copies in print, has been published in 19 languages, and has spawned huge worldwide online fan communities, as well as numerous online discussion groups. A major motion picture is in development.

The Outlander graphic novel will not be the first project Gabaldon has scripted. Early in her career she wrote numerous comic-book scripts for Walt Disney, among them the Scrooge McDuck series, and the award-winning “Nutrition Adventures with Orange Bird.”

“I’m thrilled to see the launch of such an exciting new project,” Gabaldon says. “I’ve been wanting to do a graphic novel story for years, and couldn’t ask for a better opportunity or more wonderful people to work with. I’m especially delighted to be working with such a magical artist as Hoang Nguyen. My agent and my husband have both fallen in love with his version of Claire—and I’m looking forward with great anticipation to seeing Jamie in ink.”

ABOUT THE CREATORS:

Diana Gabaldon is also the author of the nonfiction title The Outlandish Companion and two novels starring a character first introduced in Outlander: Lord John and the Private Matter and Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade. She holds a bachelor’s degree in zoology, a master’s degree in marine biology, and a Ph.D. in ecology and was a university professor before turning to writing full-time. Gabaldon lives with her family in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Hoang Nguyen’s previous work includes the Robocop movie adaptation for Dark Horse, Alien Legion graphic novels for Marvel Epic, Punisher: War Zone for Marvel and Warstrike for Malibu Comics. His original project Metal Militia was optioned by Dino De Laurentiis for feature film development. More recently he has worked in the video game industry, having contributed to such well-known titles as the Elder Scrolls series for Bethesda Softworks and Xena for Universal Studios. He was the lead artist and character designer on Dead to Rights for Namco and is currently a consultant for Namco Bandai Games. Nguyen lives in Santa Clara, California.

ABOUT DEL REY:

Del Rey Books (http://www.delreybooks.com ) was founded in 1977 as an imprint of Ballantine Books, a division of the Random House Publishing Group, under the guidance of the renowned Judy-Lynn del Rey and her husband, Lester del Rey. Del Rey publishes the best of modern fantasy, science fiction, and alternate history. In 2004 it expanded by launching Del Rey Manga, which has grown to be a major force in the U.S. graphic-novel field.


Photo Credit

C. Nancy CastaldoI couldn’t figure out how to attach a credit line to the photo in my profile [for the VotA blog], so this is it: This nice photo was taken by Nancy Castaldo at the 2007 Historical Novelists Society conference in Albany, and used with Nancy’s kind permission. Thanks, Nancy!


This webpage is an archive entry of “Voyages of the Artemis,” my blog from January 10, 2008 through January 11, 2011. These pages were originally accessed by this URL:

http://voyagesoftheartemis.blogspot.com